Sunday 4 February 2018

I find your lack of confidence disturbing

And there it is my confidence, not very high.  Yet everyone else seems to have faith and confidence in me, the question is why I don’t.  My boss said when I was told that I would have to deliver the report to the Distributor tomorrow that I am my own worst enemy, (basically you're here, we like you and you do a good job) have some faith in your own abilities.  I don't know why I've never had much self-confidence.  Maybe it just something I'm not fully in control of.

I'm sure my last job with the boss being the way he was, wasn't helpful to my self-confidence.  I just feel worried that I'm not doing a good job.  I suppose I have to listen to my Mum and look myself in the mirror and look myself in the eye and tell myself 'I can do this' and tell myself as many times and as many days as I have to, to believe it. Regardless of that, tomorrow I'm doing my first presentation at Moroccanoil and I think realistically I can be nervous as it’s my 1st time.  Still the report has been checked and its good, I just have to take a deep breath, don't babble and get on with it.

Otherwise things are okay, my dating life sucks, 2 scheduled dates and both cancelled for different reasons and probably won't be rescheduled, or it’s a couple of dates and told thanks but you’re not what I'm looking for, you're too nice and I might end up hurting you.  Seriously girls I'm not some fragile guy, I can take it.  I just wish I could meet someone who would see me for who I am.  I mean right now, everyone around me is either, getting married, married and having children or getting engaged and it’s hard not to feel left out on a social level as people move on and I just plod along... Break the cycle if I knew how.

Still it could be worse I could be a Hull City supporter... oh wait :-(... Seriously relegation seems on the cards for sure now and is it a good thing... maybe as possibly our owners will get lost and we'll get someone who gives a damn about the club and we can rebuild and come back stronger.

Anyway for now, I'm off to make dinner and relax before presentation time, see you later.