Well it’s December 31st and it’s the last day of the year, the
last evening before 2017 departs and 2018 arrives. It’s definitely been a year
of a lot of upheaval for myself and I thought I'd just go back over the year as
it ends.
So the year pretty much started
as it has done with a relaxed and fun New Year’s Eve, because well in Israel it’s
just a normal day and instead of nursing hangovers we're back at work in the
morning... Well some people might be nursing hangovers lol. Anyway I
started the year still an English Typist, still feeling unappreciated at work
and miserable in the job and despite my best efforts it took half the year for
me to get out and get into something new. There were times I despaired
about leaving and moving on, that I would find something new and more
challenging and that it would be noticed and I would be appreciated for my
work. Still it happened and funnily enough with Yom Haatzmaut
Israel's Independence Day and the signing of a piece of paper I was ready to
start a new challenge. Ready to start again.
It took another month but for
the first time in many months I felt free of the burdens and being made to feel
like I'm not worth much, I pretty much admit that my self-confidence isn't
always the highest and sometimes I suffer a severe lack of self-belief.
But my last job certainly did a serious number on it. Even now almost 7
months into a new job where I have been told by the Head of my department, that
he and his Deputy are very happy with my performance, I still second guess
myself. I suppose that will never change, but if they are saying they are
very happy with my performance so far then I shouldn't let negativity shine and
believe their words and believe in myself.
I do however feel a bit like an
outsider sometimes in my new job, heck in my social life. At the moment
it seems like everyone around me is married, getting married or starting a
family. And yes I love being able to see my friends so happy and meeting
their little ones. But I still feel alone at times, adrift in a sea of
people and no matter how much I try to swim, I am just keeping my head above
water. Maybe 2018 will change all of that.
Still this year I did two good
deeds and helped people find jobs, 1 person took my old job at the law office,
although she moved on to a better and more suitable of her talents job and then
funnily enough at a Friday night dinner I was talking with someone about what I
do and that there were jobs going and through me she applied and she is now working
in the same company and I think she's enjoying herself. So maybe I can
feel like I've done something worthwhile this year.
Maybe all the crap I've had to
deal with is done and over. Maybe 2018 will be different and everything I
want will finally be there for me. I don't honestly know as life is what
you make of it, but hopefully it will be Oh, so brilliant.
Anyway Happy New Year, see you
in 2018 :-)
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